PG13

Taylor said her first swear word (as far as we know) a few weeks ago while on the road back from France. It was the "S" word and it appears that it was from the video she was watching in the car (poor screening on the part of her parents), but as Amy was confronting her I couldn't help but think..."Shit, I hope she didn't learn that from me."

Lisa , Chris and summer in April

A sunny April this year in cool, rainy Belgium coincided with Lisa and Chris' two week visit and the kid's two week spring break. The holiday started on a lucky note at the Amsterdam airport. Just as I realized that I had no idea how to find Chris and Lisa, they walked out right in front of me. Anyway, the kids were waiting "patiently" for our arrival. Actually they were on the front lawn anxiously watching every car go by. Chris and Lisa were excited, too. Lisa told me I could take the scenic route home only if it didn't take more than five minutes...I skipped it. The first day was spent with an effort to keep our visitors awake until Amy's "transatlantic jet lag conquering bed time hour" of 9 pm. We decorated Easter eggs, washed the cars, went to the park...whatever it took.

The usual Browne vacation has a relaxing pace to it and this one was little different other than the five nights we spent in Scotland. This adventure began with Amy's introduction to apparently the only surly person in all of the country: the car rental lady. Amy got over this woman's attitude quickly enough, only to begin the challenge of driving on the left side of the road from the right side of the car. We met only friendly people from then on but the driving remained a challenge for Amy and me.

Our little farmhouse near Dunkeld was complete with stone fences, pregnant sheep, rocky outcroppings, rolling hills, curious cows, and a beautiful view of two small lochs. We enjoyed our temporary home mostly in the evenings since we were traveling the narrow roads through Scotland during the day. During our three days there we went to a ski slope (didn't ski), lunched at St. Andrews (Mecca for Lisa), explored our village of Dunkeld, visited the beach (didn't swim), saw the famous "Queen's View," and were invited to a wedding (couldn't go). The kids met newborn triplet lambs. Mackenzie let out a booming toot in Dunkeld's ancient cathedral and then excused herself in her tiny voice. Dylan repeated knock knock jokes and collected rocks for much of the trip. Taylor was excited her nickname was also the name of the river that ran through Dunkeld. After the kids were in bed, the adults talked, played scrabble, and sampled some Scottish beers (except Chris who sampled Irish whiskey). It was, of course, great to hang with the four of us.

The Easter bunny found us on the first of our two nights in Edinburgh and Easter Sunday found us walking (most of) the Royal Mile to the impressive Edinburgh Castle. The weather was cool enough that Chris had no qualms about having her hood cinched tight even for photos. The Mile has numerous historically significant buildings and churches that we blew past to get to the castle. "Wow, that looks like an old building...OK let's keep moving!" The children don't have a day's worth of patience for the details so we went for the biggest attraction first: Edinburgh Castle. We did stop on the way for a photo shoot with Braveheart, however (click on the picture to look at Dylan's tough guy face).

The castle sits on an ancient volcano overlooking the city and has a thousand year history of sieges and battles. It is where Mary, Queen of Scots, gave birth to King James IV and where the Scottish Crown Jewels are housed today. We viewed the jewels and the Stone of Destiny which has only recently been returned after the English stole it 700 years ago. While I went into the military museum the kids stood guard, or at least stood in a guardhouse, for another photo op. A number of Brownes and even a McMonagle or two were among the listed killed in the few books I managed to glance through in my short time there.

By the time we left Scotland Amy could hardly look at me with a straight face because an enormous zit had taken over the tip of my nose. Everyone else pretended it wasn't there. The kids were happy to sleep in their own beds upon our return to Belgium. The vacation pace slowed back to Browne speed, meaning about one event per day...if that. While in Belgium (both before and after Scotland) we went to ISB (our school when we lived in Brussels as kids) and drove by the old house. Chris and Lisa took their own one day adventure to Brugge via train. We also explored Antwerp one evening and did dinner on the River Schelde. Much time was spent at home with the kids...counting Taylor's pogo jumps, playing keep away, sitting outside with the kids in their bathing suits...just enjoying the Belgian summer...in April.

A night at the movies

A solo trip to the movies a few nights ago reminded me how similar, yet different, things are here compared to home. I ate a light dinner before the movie so I wouldn't feel too guilty about the bucket of popcorn I'd eat at the theater. After getting my ticket I pondered the evils of my beverage choices while waiting in the concessions line. In the states this would be easy: Coke or diet. In Belgium it's Coke, diet, or the always tempting beer. I opted for my tradition and ordered a large Coca Cola Light, knowing as a result that my ears would be ringing in the morning after a night of lousy sleep. I'm not a fan of the Belgian's taste for sugar on popcorn so I picked the less popular salt option...it was stale as usual.
The theater was mostly empty since it was a Tuesday night and the Harry Potter film had already been out a few months. I headed toward the assigned seat that was printed on my ticket: rij 11, zetel 12. Row 11 was completely empty except for another solo guy sitting in seat 13...right next to me. I chose a different seat figuring the odds were good that I wouldn't be moved. Soon another loner came and parked himself on the other side of what was supposed to be my seat. I took a few minutes before the film to (over) analyze things...16 rows, more than 20 seats in each...over 300 seats total...counted the people...less than 30. In a theater that was less than 10% full the only 3 guys without dates were supposed to be seated next to each other. The ticket people were having a good laugh: "Hey, let's sit the losers together!"

During the first preview the film stopped abruptly. In the states people would call out immediately to make sure someone was in the booth and that they were paying attention. That all-American "let's get 'r done" attitude. I think Belgians would sit patiently and quietly until their stale, sugary popcorn was finished. Good and bad points from each culture. I decided I'd wait it out, at least until it became obvious that no one would help us. It would have been priceless if I'd screamed something in English just to see the looks on people's faces. Instead, we waited patiently for the minute or so before the film rolled again (it seemed like an eternity to me...since I'm American and all).

The usual 30-45 minute previews were only 15 minutes. At intermission I paid my .30 euro for the use of the toilets. I glanced at the Dutch and French subtitles from time to time to see if I could learn a new word or two. It's the subtle things that emphasize our differences.

As I expected, the movie was good and my ears were ringing the next morning from a restless sleep...I should have had a beer.

"It was long ago and it was far away..."

My old football coach at the Air Force Academy probably wouldn't even remember me anymore. After all, I was a fourth string running back before I left the academy for the sanity of a real college. Not to mention that it was (quite) a few years ago. Anyway, that coach, Fisher DeBerry, retired after last season.

The new coach is a middle aged guy like me who was the second string quarterback while I was the fourth string running back. We were also part of a handful or more of guys that often found themselves in late night poker games.

I'm sure Troy Calhoun is still a great person although I'd bet he's not as easy going as I remember. After all, he is a football coach. While I'm happy for Troy, I feel a bit old with a former teammate now coaching the very team we played on. The picture below isn't helping me feel any younger either.

I'm sure Troy would have to think for awhile if someone asked him if he remembered a guy named Ted Browne. That's OK...it took me a bit to remember him. After all, it was long ago.

Hopefully his tenure is long so I can continuously drive my friends crazy by pointing to the television and stating, "Hey I used to play with that guy!" A few decades of this would be nice. Unfortunately, this won't be possible for a couple of years since there aren't any sports bars in the neighbourhood. At least none that show any game I would care about.

Congratulations on your accomplishment Troy and thanks for giving me a reason to watch more football.

Spiders

Brushing my teeth before bed quite awhile ago now I discovered a spider dangling from the faucet. Amy had hit the sack, and I'm sure, brushed her teeth just a couple hours before. Recently, I went out to my car to discover that overnight spiders had built on both of my side view mirrors. Actually, my passenger side spider is a mainstay. I should probably have a name for it by now. It lives somewhere behind the mirror and continuously rebuilds it's web depending on how badly I damage it. Highway miles are rough on webs. Anyway, it doesn't take much time before spiders start moving in anywhere, inside or out. It's not unusual for the vacuum to inhale up to 3 spiders living in the same corner...one at the ceiling, one at the floor, and one in between. It's hard to believe they can find enough food to survive on, quite honestly. Part of me wants to keep them around for the mosquito season...it'll be less expensive than buying window screens. Spiders like the one on the right, appearing to be only inches from this attractive woman's back, can be found on nearly every light post during the summer. Check out those nice curves...hey!...I mean on the spider web.

Pretender

"OK, let's pretend that I'm actually 10 years old, not 7, and that my name is Suzie because that's my favorite name..." This sounds easy enough until Dylan's lego starship comes in and blasts "Suzy." Then..."DYYYLAAAN...you always do that!"

Taylor is showing signs of being the oldest. She's a doer who loves to lead, compete, impress, and please. While she's low maintenance she's as exhausting (in a wonderful way, of course) as the other two. Mackenzie needs attending to, Dylan sucks energy from me as I watch him cruising about in hyper drive, and Taylor demands attention. "Dad, watch this...Daddy, I can do that too...Hey, check this out..." I think every child deserves more attention then we're capable of giving them. Such is life or, dat is het leven. Speaking of which, Taylor is now at the age where, "Can I have some more _____" is met with, "sure, you know where it is...help yourself."

So many things each child does just makes me want to grab them and say, "You can't even imagine how much I love you." This is only scratching the surface but: With Mackenzie it's her gentle hugs and kisses. For Dylan it's his big brown(e) eyes accompanying his contagious laugh. For Taylor it is the many versions of her smile I've put on this post.

Bananas are sometimes called telephones around our house...my fault. The pretend phone conversation is short before Taylor and the other two eat their "phones." A bunch of bananas doesn't last two days, barely longer than it takes to consume our puny one liter milk containers (1/4 gallon).

Recently, before we visited the states, Taylor was trying to convince Dylan that nothing could penetrate a forcefield, not even a ghost. As far as I know neither of these things exist, so I let them work it out amongst themselves. The situation ended in frustration.

My efforts to download software that will put my cell phone pictures on our computer have failed...I quit...here's a story without pictures because, as usual, I forgot the camera on a day that should have been photographed. I've inserted different pictures of Taylor (just because I can).

A strange day that occurred months ago...

Our school drags the children from the classroom often for field trips...maybe "events" would be a better word. I often drive a couple of children since they don't always take a bus. I like this. On one occasion Taylor and I had the girls singing along with the Ramones..."ay-oh-let's go!" Sometimes a kid will speak a word or two of English because she's in the English speaking car. On this day though, we took the bus with the first thru fourth classes. The 5th and 6th classes came too, but rode their bikes for the 3 miles (or so). How's that for a cultural difference.

This day was "Sports Day" and was led by the gym teacher: Jufvrouw Sim (Jufvrouw is a female teacher and is usually shortened to Juf. --it's pronounced "yoof"). I wore my light running pants thinking I'd be spotting a few cartwheels. I was wrong and probably should of worn another layer. I spoke with Taylor's teacher on the bus and she stated that nobody, not even Juf. Sim, was sure what to expect. While this trip was to a military domain, that meant nothing since many of these areas are now used as parks.

The bus left us in a wooded area in the rainy, windy, chilly weather that Belgium is known for. We hiked through the forest, guided by signs and markers and startled by occasional gunfire. I doubt even the 7 year olds believed it was real, but it marked the beginning of a fun and unusual day. The 15 minute hike through the woods may have been the most "sporty" thing we did all day.

At the other end of the woods were police vans which shuttled us quickly to the next spot with sirens blaring. Taylor said she liked the police car ride...I told her the cops might not be smiling next time (or something to that effect). As we stood in line to get our faces camouflaged...yes, you read that right...I noticed a woman wearing what were obviously American patches on her uniform and told Taylor so. I figured she must be in a NATO exchange program or something. I was wrong. The woman spoke to me in Dutch and, as it turned out, wasn't even in the military, unlike most of the people we met that day. I was a bit embarrassed as I explained my mistake to Taylor.

I stopped blushing by the time we got to the "tank" where everyone had the chance to put on a helmet and do a "walk through." I realized at this point that I might like this day as much as Taylor. I asked the soldier nearby if this was actually an armored personnel carrier and I was set straight again. It was a mobile howitzer cannon. The area I thought was meant to carry troops was actually for the recoil of the cannon. How can they think a 7 year old girl is as interested in this stuff as a forty year old guy? I pictured some of my family and friends cringing as he told me that this equipment had been sold to Lebanon and would be in the middle east next year. Don't be concerned, this equipment is seriously outdated, and no, we shouldn't invade Lebanon.

The rain drove us into a hangar of some sort with different types of games and activities for the children. Taylor proved a quick study at the stilts, probably aided by balancing skills she learned while conquering the pogo stick. Again, it's that oldest thing.

Belgians seem to love their "jumpies," those air filled things that aren't quite as fun, or dangerous, as a trampoline. Most children's events here aren't complete without one, and this day was no different. It was located under a roof, but the lack of hangar walls didn't protect the adults from the wind bringing in a cold mist. Thus, to keep warm, the teachers and I decided to join in. This jumpy was split in the middle by a hill, for lack of better words, that was impossible for most 7 year olds and some adults to conquer...but not for forty year old guys with gray chest hair. Soon I was dragging wet socked, stinky footed kids to the top, only to see their faces moments later as they slid down the other side and came around for another go. For thirty minutes, or so, I was more than just the English speaking papa van Taylor.

Then, finally, that armored personnel carrier...we put on helmets and cruised around a few hard corners. I was right for the first time that day.

On the way to the four wheelers Taylor's teacher, chuckling, told me that Lianna, Louisa, and Taylor were playing "Mackenzie." I think it was Lianna's game and I'm not sure of the rules, but one of the kids pretended to be Mackenzie and the other two probably followed orders (since they all know Mackenzie pretty well). Yes, Belgian children love little kids too, and curly haired "miss attitude" draws some attention around their small school (there's only one class per grade). The 7 year old children drove the course on miniature 4 wheelers. Taylor did well considering she's never done it before...a few kids ran into (small) trees.

Daan gathered flowers for Taylor for the bus ride back home but apparently couldn't gather the courage to deliver. I can remember those days, too, but I think I was twelve, not seven. Such is het leven.

Sandman

Everything seems normal. Suddenly, Dylan stands bolt upright and slowly rolls his eyes into his head. His tongue flops from his mouth and his head tilts while he makes gurgling sounds that signify his death. Once again Dylan has been shot and killed...nearly a daily occurrence.

Dylan told me recently that the next time we go to the park I should bring an ax so he can chop up a fallen tree he and Taylor played on. Yeah, right.

He saw a picture of a soldier on the internet and asked if he uses a gun or a light saber.

The pile of sand to the right is from only one of his shoes after a hard day at the school playground. He says he'll be famous someday because he'll invent things. Having heard about his inventions, I'm skeptical. Yet, I don't doubt that he'll be famous, if he wants to be, since it's so ingrained in his mind, and he's smart.

Dylan lives in the innocent world of a 5 year old boy. Not only are the good guys good but the bad guys know they're bad. It will be a confusing day when he learns that everyone thinks they're the good guy.

Dylan no longer collects rocks. This was one of the funnier stages I remember. We knew that if Dylan disappeared for a minute that he would reappear with a pocketful of rocks. We set guidelines like: "you can choose one rock only," or "all rocks at this castle need to stay at this castle." Now it's all just another good memory.

Dylan rides a two wheeler now, thanks to Amy's style rather than my brutish nature.

A barely audible, "please say yes," comes from him when he's not sure if he'll get permission. It's as though he's trying to subliminally affect our decision. It's hard to say "no" when you're laughing.

His phone conversations are cut short with, "Bye from Dylan."